who are you accountable to?

These are old blogs, someone asked me to repost so they could read them... Enjoy!

i was thinking about the sermon at church this morning some of the things danny said. You know that whole wives must submit to their husband stuff in the bible? Well, I know alot of people would hear that and say "yeah right, i'm a independent woman and i'm not going to submit to any man". And i hear ya when you say that, i had that attitude at one time but it all changed and i will tell you how... Submitting to your husband isn't about sex or power, oh that has a little to do with it but I don't think thats what jesus was saying in the bible. I think he was saying you should submit to your husband in other ways- you should give and not just take.. You should share every aspect of your life with your spouse, the good things and bad, whether physically, emotionally, mentally or financially- there should be no line drawn as to what you can and can't share. I watched two movies in the last few weeks that really have had me thinking about this. One was He Who Finds a Wife, it was about a couple that is on the path to marriage and go to counseling with her pastor. Alot goes on in the movie and during one session she asks him, Who are you accountable too? He just looks at her and says ME.. She gets up and leaves. This is why- She wanted him to say God. If you are accountable to God first in your relationship your always going to do whats right, your going to have a marriage that is strong and you will have a equal partner that loves and respects you and gives as much as he takes. That makes me think of the other movie i watched, Not Easily Broken. This couple were married, and during the ceremony they had a rope placed around them and the pastor said their marriage was a partnership and that rope symbolized God. As long as they had god in their marriage they were tied together, but if you don't put god first then your just going to fall apart.. The only people in your marriage should be you, your spouse and God- not your other family members, or friends. Now, how everything changed for me- I go to church obviously, and i'm there most every sunday unless i'm sick or the kids are. A little over a year ago me and russ were having a really hard time in our marriage and we came real close to getting a divorce. I kept asking myself why is this happening? I go to church every sunday and i pray and believe so why is God allowing this to happen in my marriage? Is he punishing me for something? I then realized, yeah i had been going to church and reading the bible but had i REALLY been listening or comprehending what i was reading? The answer was no... Not really! When i started really listening to what God had to say to me, things started to change. Russ doesn't always go to church with me, but sometimes he does and thats ok. It took me really listening to God and putting him first before anything to really see a change in my marriage. Alot of the problem in our marriage had to do with me putting my family or friends first, not god and certainly not russ. When i started putting god first and really listening to what Russ had to say and how he felt alot changed in our relationship. The last six months russ had been laid off work, we had ALOT of time together since i go to school and my classes are online i'm always home. When i started running in the mornings russ would go with me. Those mornings were amazing. We had the most amazing talks in 13 years, we learned alot about each other- even though we have been together so long there were things we hadn't known or told each other because we just never took the time to sit and talk! We get so busy and wrapped up in our lives that we don't take time to just sit together, with no interuptions and talk. The tv's always on, or the computer, or the phones ringing, or somebodys knocking on the door or theirs a houseful of kids running in and out. I would encourage all of you to take the time to just talk, take a long walk in the evening with your spouse and ask him how his day has been. He will know that you actually want to know what is going on in his life. Russ and i had got to a point in our marriage where we didn't feel like we knew each other at all, he was gone alot for work and when he was home he felt obligated to help his friends with things going on at their house instead of staying home and spending that precious time with his wife and kids. I think i resented that alot, and may have even started to hate him for it. After he quit that job and was home everyday it changed a bit, but not until he was actually home all day did we really start to talk and LISTEN to each other. Now he is on the road again and i cried when he first took the job. I know he didn't really want to take it, but at the same time we both knew he had too. The thing that kept running through my head was "are we going to go back to where we feel like we don't know each other again, or is this going to cause the end of my marriage because we can't trust each other while we are apart?" The thing is, now i know better. We have a strong marriage full of love, respect and mutual love for God. When i call him at night i always ask how his day was and he asks me the same. I now know that our marriage can and will stand through anything- all it takes is a little love, alot of prayer and putting the man up there first!